Why Apple is Doing So Well

When Apple says it made $1.67B last quarter on almost $10B in sales I don’t have to look any further than my desktop to see why.  I’m working on a two month old MacBook Pro, I upgraded to an iPhone 3GS in July and I’m viewing my early 2009 model iMac using “Back to My Mac”.  Yes, it’s people like me that help Apple amass these huge numbers.  You know, fanboys.

OK, so Tex just outed himself.  Big deal.  Three years ago I would have never imagined myself admitting to such frivolous behavior, but since I switched, I find my appetite for new and shiny Apple toys grows more ravenous by the month.  It's almost like I'm afraid someone will have a faster Mac with a bigger screen.  Sort of a geek penis envy kind of thing, I guess.  With numbers like the ones Apple just reported, I’m obviously not alone.  I only account for 2 Macs and an iPhone.  That leaves 2,999,998 Macs bought by others and 7,399,999 other iPhone suckers.  What the hell is wrong with us?

Yes, my Macs and iPhone are beautiful.  Yes, they run extremely well and are very easy to use, but now I’m lusting for a new quad-core iMac and I don’t even need one.  WTF?

Someone please stop me!

I’ve always considered myself a sensible person but this irrational need for anything new from Cupertino is a character defect that has me puzzled.  Am I suffering from the same malady as the little old lady around the corner with 22 cats?  I don’t remember getting excited when Dell or HP “speed-bumped” one of their models, but when Apple does it I immediately start rationalizing reasons to postpone my daughters tuition payment and task the FedEx man with one more trip to China.

I know Apple is winning over people left and right.  Repeat zealots alone can’t possibly explain  these numbers, but any company would love to trade their fans for Apple’s.  Has anyone ever waited in line outside a Gateway store for anything?  (OK, once, but we were trying to get into the club next door.)  The point is, Apple generates endless press for something as silly as redesigning a $19 remote.  These media guys wouldn’t write about it if they didn’t think us lemmings were going to lap it up.  I’m beginning to wonder if its even possible these days for Apple to release a product that flops.  Sure, there was the LISA and Newton, but those were introduced a number of years ago.  Recently even the lame AppleTV seems to be a viable business.  While not a big seller in Apple terms, I’ll bet Roku would welcome so many units sold.

The good news (and for purposes of full disclosure):  Being an ardent capitalist pig, I bought AAPL at $73 a couple of years ago so I’ve more than made up for what I’ve spent at Apple stores.  That takes a little of the guilt away.  Ain’t capitalism great?

Wow!  I'm feeling better.  Funny how a big fat profitburger heals wounds.

PS: Suggestion to all fanboys: Take some time to make light of your behavior.  That way you’ll be laughing with everyone else.