Oscar, Shmoscar

Tonight is Hollywood’s big night. It’s the night a whole bunch of wealthy mimics get together to pat each other on the back for being such wonderful artists. They hire a funny guy host (this year it’s Jimmy Kimmel) to entertain us and warm up the audience for the 3+ hour self-congratulatory marathon. It’s estimated over 30 million people will tune in to the extravaganza. (Down from 57 million in 1998. What’s up with that?) All waiting with bated breath to learn who will get the little gold trophy for “Best Cinematography in a Foreign Documentary”. Oh, I mean “Best Performance by an Actor”. Excuse me. Of course, I’m being facetious, but to get to those most-anticipated “Best Actor”, “Best Actress” and “Best Picture” awards, the public it put through an endless parade of obscure categories that few people care about save those in competition for the trophies. We’ll finally get to the meat of the event so late that everyone staying up to watch will be groggy at work tomorrow. You know, I’m OK with all that. There is a certain excitement in the anticipation and the right host can make the event very entertaining.

What I’m not OK with is being lectured to in the process. Why do actors feel it necessary to inject their politics into an event that has nothing to do with politics? Don’t get me wrong, I believe these folks have as much right as anyone to express their political views, but there’s a time and place for everything. Tuning into the Academy Awards to hear an intellectual speech is akin to tuning in to CNN for a UFC cage match. Completely non-sequitur. I know these actors are certain the world can’t wait to hear what they think of our President or the Syrian refugee crisis, but to me this behavior is the ultimate “bait and switch”. For half the viewers, we tune in to see the biggest Hollywood award show, but wind up being lectured on how deplorable and backwards our political beliefs are (if we don’t agree with some actor’s progressive leftist socialist agenda). For those actors, I say, “S. T. F. U.” Looking to an actor for political advice is about as smart as calling a plumber when you have a toothache. That type of behavior is also pretty stupid when you think about it. Why would someone who's career depends on the public's adoration purposely ostracize half their potential customers? I also submit that these same actors are the ultimate hypocrites. They fly to Hollywood in their private jets, put on thousands of dollars’ worth the clothing and jewelry, get into their limousines and get chauffeured to the red carpet. All while being guarded by armed security and safely barricaded from the “little people” who buy the overpriced tickets that pay their hyper-inflated salaries. After all that, they have the nerve to lecture me about how bigoted, racist, misogynistic, xenophobic and whatever the hell else they think I am for rejecting their politically correct, progressive views.  I wonder how many refugees and illegal immigrants are invited to the event or one of the dozens of after-parties? I’ll bet the only ones there will be tending bar, serving hors d’oeuvres or cleaning up afterwards.

The Academy Awards? No thanks. I think I’ll pirate a movie.